Caring for Everyone (Including Yourself): Finding Calm in the Chaos

If you’re parenting a child with additional needs, you already know that love and exhaustion often sit side by side. The appointments, routines, meltdowns, and the emotional highs and lows can leave even the strongest parent running on fumes. It’s easy to focus so completely on your child that you forget there’s another person who needs care — you.

Why your calm matters

• Children with additional needs often take their cues from the adults around them. When we’re calm, patient, and grounded, it helps them feel safe. But that calm doesn’t appear out of nowhere — it’s built through moments of rest, small rituals, and a bit of kindness towards ourselves.

You don’t need long spa days or fancy mindfulness retreats. Sometimes it’s five minutes with a cup of tea before everyone wakes up, stepping outside to breathe after a meltdown, or calling a friend who understands without judgment. These small pauses don’t make you weak — they make you steady.

Finding small moments of calm

• Create a breathing space: Even a five-minute reset can lower stress. Try the “4-7-8” technique — breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8.
• Say yes to help: Let grandparents, friends, or respite services step in. Accepting help doesn’t mean you’re not coping — it means you’re human.
• Build micro-routines: A consistent bedtime for you, not just your child, can restore balance. A small walk, journaling, or prayer — whatever gives your mind a cue to slow down.

You deserve the same care you give

Parenting a child with additional needs isn’t just about resilience — it’s about renewal. The love you give daily is incredible, but you can’t pour from an empty cup. So, the next time someone offers a hand, take it. The calm you create for yourself will ripple through your whole family — and that’s the most powerful kind of care there is.